Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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