I didn't shave. On purpose
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
