ugly people sure do ruin things
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
