everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
