glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
