did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize