Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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