It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
