too bad you live with your parents still
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
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