I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Please don't give away my fajitas
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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