we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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