turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
