I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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