And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
