paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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