he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize