We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
