is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
