things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
