i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I will pee on everything he values.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You are the jesus of drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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