nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
