That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
