Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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