Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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