I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
