i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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