ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
