That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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