'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
