Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
