I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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