Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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