thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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