Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
