You smell like stripper and shame
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
