So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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