i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
