i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
