ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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