i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
