i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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