I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My vagina is officially offended.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
