:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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