at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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