How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
there is puke in my bra ... again
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
