You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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