Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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