Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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