it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
my poor anus
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
