Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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