You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it because I queefed?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
