He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
