i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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