i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize