So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
